Just wanna tell you something
by ZoZe
Summary: Billie is thinking about her, Van and Deaq. The story is written from Billie's point of view.


" Just wanna tell you something . . ." by ZoZe  
  
I'm siting here, thinking. I doesn't have time to do this often, but now I do.  
  
When I heard the shot from somewhere behind me, I immediately knew this will get bad. I remember following seconds like a slow-motion-part from a film. Not even one second later I felt the bullet in the upper part of my back near my spine. It hurt like hell and I felt blood soaking my shirt. Every muscle of my body cramped due to the pain. I was unable to move. Then I fell on the floor, coiling up. I heard two other shots and someone screaming my name. But everything seemed to be far away.  
  
What was going to happen now? I didn't noticed much and the fact that who ever shot at me could easily kill me now. I panicked and I cried.  
  
My boys had never see me cry. I wondered whether they were still alive. I always tried to protect them, to help them when they are in trouble. Not only because this is my job, but also because I couldn't stand it, if one of them were hurt seriously. When they started to work for me, they were just employees. Good- looking employees, but nothing further. Now they are a major part of my life. Of course we sometimes gibe at each other. But very soon I learned to trust my boys, and so did they. I am convinced that I can always rely on the two of them. We do all we can to protect the members of our team. And we never let the other ones down. This is why we always succeed.  
  
But at this time I wasn't able to do anything to help them. I couldn't do anything than lying on the floor, waiting for what was going to happen next. Needing all my strength to stay awake I tried hard to hear, feel, see or say anything, but there were nothing than the pain and the blood-spilled floor. Then I felt someone touching my face and I heard a voice right next to my ear. I realized Van and the fact that he was there, taking care of me, gave me kind of security. I was sure that nothing bad could happen to me as long as Van and Deaqon protect me.  
  
Van talked all the time. He always does. Often it gets on my nerves, but this time I was incomprehensible glad to hear his voice. I managed to understand what he was telling me and if I weren't in pain like this, I definitely would have smiled. "Billie, are you okay? Ohh, stupid question! 'course you're not! But I promise you'll be! You understand me, Billie? Deaq already calls the ambulance! It is..." I just fell asleep. The boys were there. Both of them were there. And I believed Van. I'll be okay.  
  
When I woke up, I didn't immediately realize where I was. I tried to get up, but it hurt so much, that I lay back onto the bed and closed my eyes groaning in pain. I breathed in with a hiss. I stared at the ceiling and wondered whether I should call for a nurse. Then a million questions came into my mind. Was my injury bad? Where were Van and Deaq? Were they okay? The uncertainty was even worse than my pain. A doctor came in to look after me. He said that I was lucky, because the bullet missed my lung and that I would be completely healthy in two weeks. I asked him about two young men I would like to see and who probably were taken to the hospital with me, but he didn't knew anything about Van and Deaq. He explained that I would need some rest and left.  
  
I imagined what my boys were doing right now. Probably Van talked. And Deaq told him to shut up, cause he is to tired to listen. I laughed at the idea of them sitting on a couch at the Candy Store, arguing about some stupid things. Then I worried about them. Are they really okay? Did Van just pretend to be alright to calm me down? What happened after I became unconscious? I was nervously and restless.  
  
I don't like hospitals. They're always calm and sterile. The walls are as white as the beds and the light is cold. I was exited. I didn't actually know why. I was dying to see my boys again. I wanted to know what had happened. But that wasn't all. I felt alone and abandoned. I wanted to see Van and Deaq because with them next to me I feel a lot better than I did. With them in my proximity I feel save. I know pretty well that they like me. Yeah, I'm 100% sure they like me. Of course they would never tell me. Van sometimes calls me a dragon and says that he would be happier without me, but when he does, I can see the amusement in his eyes.  
  
Deaq don't ever say something like this. He talks much less than Van. I guess because Van would cut him short. But Deaq can express a lot with his eyes. He looks at me and I know what he thinks, feels and what he's going to do next. I believe friendship is based on the forecast of somebody's actions and feelings. Refering to my thesis Deaq and I must be good friends.  
  
The thought that something happened to him or Van kills me.  
  
I got up carefully, grabbing my jeans which were put on a chair near my bed.  
  
As I finally reached the Candy Store, my back hurt like hell and I was hardly able to walk. I kicked the door open like I always do but this time I staggered.  
  
What a stupid idea! How could I have hoped that they were here? But to lie in the hospital was to boring for me to stand.  
  
I walked trough the Candy Store and I tried to call for them. But all I was able to do was to gasp. I walked towards the sofa when I saw Van. He sat there deepened in a pile of paper. Thank God he was okay! He has turned his back towards me, so he didn't see me arriving. "Where the hell is Deaq?!" I asked, grabbing Van's shoulder to avoid falling down. He jumped up, dropping the papers, smiling. It was one of those innocent, wide, happy smiles I love so much. "Billie! You're up?!" He hugged me but suddenly realized that I wasn't healthy jet. Gently, but energetic he pushes me down at the sofa. "Wanna something to drink? I'll get you some water."  
  
It was amazing. I didn't say a word but he simply knew what was going on.  
  
He run to the fridge and back to me. Then handing a bottle of water to me. I said nothing, but smiled gratefully. After I had relaxed a few minutes, I asked again: "Where the hell is Deaq?" "He is okay. He went home a few hours ago." I nodded, smiled, closed my eyes and leaned back. He sat down next to me. I felt the concerned look he threw at me.  
  
And here I am now - absorbed in thought. Sometimes I open my eyes just to see what Van's doing at the moment. He is again deepened in his paperwork. Sitting there, feet on the small table in front of us, holding a file with one hand and touching his lips with the fingers of the other one.  
  
I just love to see the boys smiling or laughing. Because it means that they're happy. We are always having a lot of fun, when we're hanging around in the Candy Store. And I think this is another sing for friendship. Well, yeah... I believe that Van and Deaq are more to me than just employees. Otherwise I wouldn't be as worried about them as I am. And they're obviously worried about me, too. You don't know what a good feeling this is, to know that someone is concerned about you. It means you're not alone with your problems. And this is the only thing that counts. I suppose with a couple of good friends you're able to go trough everything. I'm the best proof. If I had been alone in this club yesterday I would probably be dead now. They saved my live. There's no doubt about that. I realize that my eyes are wetter than they usually are.  
  
Somehow he notices that I watch him, because he turns his head around and looks at me.  
  
I'm sobbing. Van moves a bit closer to me and embraces me. My head lies on his chest now. His chin rests on my head. He's playing with some strands of my hair.  
  
I burst into tears. I don't cry loud. But tears are streaming down my face now. They taste salty but at least they're warm. It's the second time that Van sees my crying. I'm not sure whether he noticed I was crying yesterday, but now he definitely does. I look into his eyes and I am indescribable glad to have employees like my two boys. Employees who honestly like me and who save my life. I still cry, but I calm a bit down now.  
  
"Thank you." He smiled silently. And kisses me on the forehead.  
  
"I am..." "I know." He interrupts me.  
  
You see? That's exactly what I'm talking about. 


End file.
